


Just a Few More Items

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint is Ridiculous, Crack, Earnest Steve, Gen, Humor, Long-Suffering Coulson, Meeting, Smartass!Bruce, St. Patrick's Day, Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-16 08:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1338925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson really just wants to get through this meeting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Few More Items

"Okay, everyone, just a few more items and then we'll be done with this meeting," Coulson said, turning the page of the agenda.

"Gee. I wonder what the last few items will be," Bruce said. 

"They are indeed our standard items," Coulson said, not bothering to hide the exasperation in his voice. "Clint. Admin has returned all of your paperwork. It will need to be resubmitted after you have completed it properly."

"And?" Clint asked.

Coulson sighed. "And they gave your obscene drawings a B+ this time."

"Nice!" Clint said, "Last time it was a C."

Coulson continued, "Natasha. Here are the forms you will need to fill out to address yet another set of accusations of excessive force."

She answered, "I don't know why you want me to train new recruits if you're just going to ask me to go easy on them."

"Thor," Coulson said, "Again, please be cognizant of the effects of multiple lightning strikes on the power grid."

"I will do so," Thor said, nodding. 

"Steve," Coulson said, "We have received your latest handwritten letters about our civil liberties and privacy policies. Again. Fury's not changing them."

"I understand, sir. But I'm going to keep trying."

"Of course you are," Coulson said, then turned to Tony. "You must have a guess about what I'm going to say, Stark."

"That I'm awesome?"

"That it is both against SHIELD policy and completely disgusting to dance naked at the office St. Patrick's day party and particularly to dip your private areas into the green beer."

"That food coloring stays on the skin a long time, you know. I should really be filing a complaint against _you guys_ ," Tony said.

Coulson ignored him and closed the file. "All right, that's it for today, everyone."

"How come Bruce never gets a special note at the end?" Clint asked.

"Criticism makes me... tense," Bruce said, smirking beneath a raised eyebrow.

"Whatever Dr. Banner's flaws are, he is a bit less conspicuous with them than the rest of the team," Coulson answered Clint.

"The giant green guy is inconspicuous?" Tony said. "Okay, sure."

"Well, the other guy's not at the meeting, is he?" Coulson said.

"Would you like him to be?" Bruce said with an innocent smile.

"When did you become such a troll?" Natasha asked Bruce, approval in her voice. 

"What if the other guy put _his_ junk in the beverages? Bet you wouldn't complain about me then," Tony said.

"Meeting's over," Coulson said, throwing his files into his briefcase and snapping it shut. "I'll remind you of everything I just said again tomorrow."

"We know you will, Agent," Tony said as Coulson walked out the door. "We can always depend on you."

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt at comment-fic on lj.


End file.
